My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
