garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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