don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
