ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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