is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
