I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
