she was so not down for the gang bang
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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