So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize