You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize