I wish i was in the wii world.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
