I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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