Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
