piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
