I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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