You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
