thus making me awesome and them whores
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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