I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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