Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Farmville is her only friend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
