do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
