So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
