shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
