I hope mine doesn't look like that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
