my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
