It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
