i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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