come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
