I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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