Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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