Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well you can't waste a boner
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
