a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
