We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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