he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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