isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
