There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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