O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
