god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
