Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
