I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My pussy is not your playground.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
