How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
