Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
