Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
