In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
