Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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