Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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