i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize