I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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