Christians are straight up FREAKS
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
