he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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