D3 body, D1 cock
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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