you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize