if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize