I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize