UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
