jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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