Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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