you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
